remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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