your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
