Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
