Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
