My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
