Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
