My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
