Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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