I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
