so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
