Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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