I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize