look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
