please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
