OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
