They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
