So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
