last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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