pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
