Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
