I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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