I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
