i need an iv and a liver transplant
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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