I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
