So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
