Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
