She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
