hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The adults are the big ones right?
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