I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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