i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
