I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
