I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I've blown a few things in my day
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
bring money and cleavage
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
