Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
