My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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