you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The air was thick with penises
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize