I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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