Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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