You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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