we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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