I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
