I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
