went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
