They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
