WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
