Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
