So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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