She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
