yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
