I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
