I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
