grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize