Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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