at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
