I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
