So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
