I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
