I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
