You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
