So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
