I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize