My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
