I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
