whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
