I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize