I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
