FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
