She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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