He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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