you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
