youre lurking in front of me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
