When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Randomize
