what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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