She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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