Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
