There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
