What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A+ Viking dick
I think people are normalizing furries
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
