He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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