You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize