i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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