I'm going to jail i love you
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My hand turned me down
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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