is your mom at the bar?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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