Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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