Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
