i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Every concussion has its silver lining
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
