How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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