I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
